"How are you?" "I'm good." A lot of conversations stop there, but more often than not, we aren't actually good. There's so much happening in all of our lives that it's important to make friends you can be vulnerable with — and that you can be that friend for others. But starting deep conversations in any of your relationships can be harder than it sounds. Keep scrolling for five questions to ask your friends to let them know how much you care.
Have You Had A Good Cry Lately? What About?
It's pretty easy to cry when we're feeling upset or if we're experiencing an influx of love or joy — tears are the emotion that can't be kept in. And with so much happening around the world, it's extra easy to feel overwhelmed right now. Asking a question like this acknowledges that we're all feeling something and it gives your friend the space to express their emotions without feeling bad about it.
What Are You Dreaming About Right Now?
Be someone who helps your friends dream big and reach for their craziest goals. There's nothing like hearing someone talk about something they're passionate about, and when you have a deep-rooted love for that person, it's even more fun to hear. Plus, if they answer with their actual dreams from last night, then you can have a good laugh too.
How Is Your Soul?
There are certain things that affect us on a very deep level, and while our bodies might be okay, our souls may have taken a beating recently! Asking about your friend's soul or heart will let them talk about how the details and nuances of their emotions. This is a great question for people who feel things deeply, even if it's not exclusive to them.
How Did [Insert Event] Make You Feel?
If you know the ins and outs of your friend's life, there's a good chance you know if something in particular has affected them. Whether it's trouble with their partner, their parents, or they were really hit hard by something on the news, don't be afraid to ask them how they're feeling (when it's appropriate, of course). Asking them about a particular event or conversation will help them focus more than if you just ask how they're feeling in general.
There's A Lot Going On In The World, How Are You Handling Everything?
It's okay if you're not handling things well, and right off the bat, this question will let your friend know that it's okay if they're overwhelmed. Since everyone handles things differently, this is also a good way to check up on someone without making assumptions about how they're feeling.
What's Something That's Made You Smile In The Last Few Days?
There are two reasons this can be a great question. First, allowing your friend to focus on a positive story will allow them take note of something beautiful around them, no matter how small it is. Second, asking for a recent example will remind them to look for the good since they'll have to sift through the good and the bad to give you an answer. It'll boost their mood, especially if they've had a rough week.
You've Seemed A Little Off Lately, Is Everything Okay?
We've all changed in the last two and a half years, but if you've picked up that your friend seems extra sad recently, you can ask them what's going on. It'll show that you're attentive and allow them to talk about something they're dealing with if they don't feel comfortable bringing it up.
What Did You Think About [Insert Entertainment Program]
Maybe your friend has been recovering from a loss and was impacted by the pilot of The Last of Us, or they're super excited about a new job opportunity and finally got around to watching The Bold Type. Either way, if your friend loves stories and resonates deeply with fictional characters, this could be a great way to help them work through both positive and negative emotions.
What's Something That Impacted You Last Week?
The great thing about a question like this is that it lets your friend decide whether they want to talk about, something difficult or positive. Or both!
Do you have specific questions that you ask your friends? Let us know on Twitter and subscribe to our email newsletter for more mental health and friendship ideas.
This post has been updated.
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