Whether you swoon watching your partner put away the laundry, or you fall head over heels all over again on your weekly walk together, you probably have a distinct love language. These are an incredible way to identify your relationship needs and create a strong foundation for a lifetime of love.
Previously, there were five primary ways people prefer to give and receive love – AKA “love languages,” a term coined by marriage counselor and author, Gary Chapman: words of affirmation, quality time, giving and receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. Even with five unique languages, 46% of adults in the United States didn’t see their form of receiving and/or giving love represented, according to an eHarmony dating trends report. Enter an update to those 1992 love languages with two brand-new additions — shared experiences and emotional security.The 2 New Love Languages
Shared Experiences
If you’re the kind of person who can’t help but send out a shared calendar for you and your partner (Or even your friends!), this may be the love language for you. Shared experiences is all about creating deep-rooted bonds, which differs from quality time, as QT focuses on new, intentional experiences. As it turns out, 38% of survey participants ranked shared experiences #1, noting that they prefer to love and give love by creating shared memories with their significant other.
Signs This Might Be Your Love Language:
- You’re always down for a group project.
- You prefer having someone join you on your weekly Target trip rather than go alone.
- You feel closer to your partner after going to Book Club together.
- Making new memories is your ideal way to spend time.
- You’d rather be doing something with your partner than sitting on the couch.
Emotional Security
If you'd rather have deep pillowtalk than Netflix and chill with your S.O., then your love language might be emotional security. Rooted in conversation, emotional security happens when a person feels safe, seen and secure for being their authentic self. Typically, people who crave emotional security want to extract the why during conversations – AKA they tend to dig a bit deeper than surface level. If this sounds like you, once your partner starts asking (and answering) the “whys,” you probably feel a stronger connection.
Signs This Might Be Your Love Language:
- You feel closest to your partner when they share their dreams, fears and past.
- You like asking a lot of questions. Like a lot.
- You think deeply and listen intentionally.
- The “scary” conversations don’t scare you at all.
- You don’t mind sharing how you feel, even if it’s awkward.
If these don’t hit home, though, maybe your love language(s) is one of the OG options. Keep reading for a quick breakdown of the five initial love languages (that are still very relevant today).
The 5 Original Love Languages
Words of Affirmation
People with this love language value verbal acknowledgments of affection, including frequent "I love you's," compliments, words of appreciation, verbal encouragement, and even digital communication like texting and social media engagement.
Quality Time
If you’re all about QT, then you feel the most adored when your partner actively wants to spend time with you. These people particularly love when active listening, eye contact and full presence are prioritized in the relationship.
Receiving Gifts
This one is pretty straightforward: you feel loved when people give you visual symbols of love. Often confused with materialism, it’s not about the extravagance of the gift at all, but rather the symbolic thought behind the item. People with this style recognize and value the gift-giving process: the careful reflection, the deliberate choosing of the object to represent the relationship, and the emotional benefits from receiving the present.
Acts of Service
If your love language is acts of service, you value when your partner goes out of their way to make your life easier. Little things like making you coffee in the morning, starting your car in the winter so it heats up or doing the laundry unprompted.
Physical Touch
People with physical touch as their love language feel loved when they receive physical signs of affection, including kissing, holding hands, cuddling and sex. Physical intimacy and touch can be incredibly affirming and serve as a powerful emotional connector for people with this love language.
What do you think about the new love languages? Do any of them hit home for you?
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Header image by Ketut Subiyanto / PEXELS
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