Pinky Cole of Slutty Vegan is on a creative mission to not only continue building her $100 million restaurant empire, but she's also pouring back into minority communities through efforts like the Pinky Cole Foundation and PETA's Push For Food Justice. The beautiful thing about this is she's doing it alongside her husband, fellow restauranteur Derrick Hayes of Big Dave's Cheesesteaks. After meeting Hayes during the pandemic in 2020, the two began dating and conceived a few months later.
Hayes and Cole wed earlier this year in June, shocking guests by announcing they're expecting baby #3 together. Cole took things a step further by letting everyone know they'd be having another son - news that was a pleasant surprise for Hayes. Once he's born in December, they will have a total of five children - including two daughters from Hayes' prior relationship. Of their blended family, Cole says, "I love being a bonus mom." But, she didn't always see motherhood as an option for her.
For the first time, Cole is opening up about her journey to motherhood, what it's taught her and how she's embracing being a mother.
Life Before Motherhood
Prior to having her restaurant empire, Cole worked as a TV Producer on the Maury [Povich] show. One of the ways she maintained her health was by working out on a regular basis, but she noticed something wasn't quite right. "I'd spend time working out only to still look and feel bloated. It looked like I was pregnant, if I'm being honest," she said.
While voicing her concerns at a doctor's appointment, she learned she had three large fibroids — two were the size of golfballs while one was the size of a cantaloupe. Due to the fact that they blocked her fallopian tubes, doctors said she'd probably have difficulty conceiving.
Cole said, "I decided to have a myomectomy and was told that even with the removal of my fibroids, the scar tissue would still make it difficult to conceive. So, I didn't think I'd ever have children."
Cooking Up A Family
She then went on to invest in her restaurant Pinky's Jamaican and American in Harlem while still working as a TV Producer. Unfortunately, it was destroyed by a grease fire in 2014 that led her to lose everything she put into it. This experienced eventually paved the road for Slutty Vegan, though.
The Slutty Vegan food truck opened for business in 2018, and business was so good that Cole decided to open a brick and mortar location for the restaurant in 2019. A year after doing so, she met Hayes after his flagship of Big Dave's Cheesesteaks was damaged during the Atlanta riots in 2020. She reached out to offer her support and they connected in a way neither of them expected.
Just a few months after dating, Cole learned she was pregnant with their first child. "I was shocked because I really thought I couldn't have kids. I'd never gotten pregnant prior to my relationship with Derrick," she said. She had a healthy pregnancy and gave birth birth to a baby girl named D Ella Hayes. At her 6-week postpartum appointment, Cole found out she was pregnant with the couple's second child — a baby boy they named Derrick Hayes, Jr.
Finding out she was pregnant before their wedding was a shock to Cole, but the couple welcomed the news. Cole laughed and said, "You know how people say they have Irish twins? Well, I have Irish triplets because my babies are being born back to back."
Although Cole says she's been fortunate to have healthy pregnancies, she realizes this particular pregnancy has been different. "I like to be motivated but I noticed I lost my drive a bit," she said. She also mentioned she's experienced more backaches and feeling fatigued. "This little boy is different, but I'm just taking it day by day," Cole said with another laugh.
Working Through Motherhood
The way Cole embraces motherhood is great, but she's also no stranger to experiencing mom guilt. She said, "I used to have mom guilt because I was traveling and working a lot. I used to ask myself, 'Are my kids going to know me?'" Though it doesn't always lessen the guilt, she shared that her family is blessed because her mom has always been a nanny for the kids. "At first I felt like my kids were detached but I've since built my bond with them and have shaken mom guilt," Cole said. For her, working is essential. She said, "The reality is I need to be able to work so I can take care of my kids."
It's something she doesn't want other moms to feel ashamed about. She stressed, "For mothers reading this, mom guilt is real and it's normal, especially when you're running a business [or working]. Don't beat yourself up for wanting to do better."
She also wants moms to know their feelings are valid. "It's all a part of the prenatal and postpartum process. Be gentle with yourself and take care of yourself. If you don't, you'll always feel unhappy," she said.
Now that she's one month away from the release of her first book I Hope You Fail: Ten Hater Statements Holding You Back From Everything You Want, Cole wants people to understand her relationship with hardship as it pertains to her businesses and life. She said, "Personally, I've learned to embrace hardship. Something is always going to happen but my life's motto is 'When sh*t happens, we put policy in place.'"
When asked what she'd say to someone struggling with hardship, Cole paused and said, "One thing I tell people is that you can rise above difficult situations. You have to tell yourself, 'I can grow past negative things.'"
Based on the way Cole turns her life's lemons into lemonade stands, we're convinced she knows what she's talking about when it comes to hardship and motherhood.
What were you surprised to learn about Pinky Cole's motherhood journey? Share your comments below and follow the conversation on Facebook!
Lead image via Drea Nicole Photography
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