52 million Americans are using online dating apps in 2023, and if you’re single, there’s a good chance you’re one of them. Myers-Briggs personality types are everywhere right now, and you might be noticing that your matches have their personality type preferences in their profile.
If those little four-letter codes are a mystery to you, we’re here to give you some practical tips on what they mean — and how to plan the perfect date for your match — whether you’ve just matched or you’ve been together for a while. These date night ideas consider all facets of the unique Myers-Briggs personas — from introverts and extroverts to sensory vs. more intuitive types. Keep reading for the date night idea that will align with your truest self, and your date's!
Introversion + Extraversion
Those with a preference for Introversion (I) will enjoy the opportunity to get to know you one-on-one. Quiet, candlelit dinners, walks in nature, and picnics will go a long way in setting your date with an introversion preference at ease. Be prepared to plumb the depths — introversion often comes with a desire to get to know the real you, and what drives you, not just how you feel and behave. Your introvert-preferring date likes to have fun too of course, but without the opportunity to scratch the surface on an intimate basis, they’ll likely go home feeling they’d missed out on something important. Don’t be afraid of the occasional companionable silence — it’s likely they’re not.
Those with a preference for Extraversion (E) are activated by higher-energy exchanges and situations. The more they can express themselves, share lively discussions, and enjoy the party, the better they’ll feel. Concerts, bars (or bar crawls!), karaoke, and other participatory activities are date ideas that’ll leave Extraverts satisfied and ready for more adventures with you. Dates that put a damper on their enthusiasm are the biggest pitfall for Extraverts. Avoid contexts where quiet and inward focus are paramount. So, maybe choose date night ideas like a rock concert, and not the symphony. Whatever you do, be ready to talk about it!
Sensing + Intuition
Those with a preference for Sensing (S) are oriented toward the rich, concrete, and sensory side of the world. They often have a special appreciation for beauty, design, physical pleasures, and unambiguous, hands-on learning. To wow a Sensing type, choose dates and experiences that engage as many of their senses as possible as well as their love of “doing things right.” An art museum might be a better bet than a history museum, but read their profile first; it’s likely that they will have listed their interests in some detail. Cooking classes engage all the senses and feed the Sensing love of how-to knowledge. A wine tasting is another great sensory choice that also allows a Sensing type to show off their fact-finding thirst and trivia prowess (Cabernet Franc is a Bordeaux grape, you know). The worst thing to do to a Sensing type is drag them to a symposium on esoteric philosophical ideas. In time they’ll come to appreciate your love of the finer points of the Bhagavad Gita, but don’t expect to hit it off in the world of ideas, ethics, and abstraction.
Abstraction is instead the home turf of those who prefer Intuition (N). To light an Intuitive type’s fire, find opportunities for them to exercise their love for the meaning behind everything. If you’re going to an art museum, make sure they have a good modern art exhibit. Intuitive types enjoy the grey areas of life, and a soup can on a plinth might spark their imagination more than the obvious beauty of Michaelangelo’s David (though, of course, you can always have a great discussion on the meaning of art). If a cafe for Sensing types sounds like music, an Intuitive’s cafe sounds like talking and thinking. For their dream date night idea, find coffee houses, bars, and walk-and-talk locales where you can solve the mysteries of the universe, together.
Thinking + Feeling
Those with a preference for Thinking (T) appreciate a logical approach to decision-making, including in their romantic lives. If your date is a Thinking type, you’re largely off the hook for making big, romantic displays. While Sensing types are into facts and Intuitive types like philosophy, the Thinking preference is more aligned with puzzles. You may see your Thinking-type date sparkle in an escape room or over a shared Sunday crossword. You’re also unlikely to lose any points by finding a deal — it’s only logical to get the same food for less at happy hour and go out more often with the money you save.
People with a preference for Feeling (F) are more apt to decide with their gut than with their head. Great date night ideas for Feeling types allow them to engage their care for others, and for causes that are important to them. Life is hard, but Feeling types don’t shy away from the effort to make the lives of those they care about better, and they’ll truly appreciate your effort to do the same for them. Inviting your Feeling date along to a worthy service project wouldn’t be out of the question, and Feeling types may be the only ones to truly enjoy the over-the-top drama of operatic storylines. Whatever your date may be, Feeling types need an exchange of deep emotion, and romance may be the most powerful emotion of all. And don't assume; showing that you have listened is a great way of showing that you care.
Perceiving + Judging
In the context of dating, consider Perceiving (P) and Judging (J) a dichotomy between spontaneity and organization. Perceiving types will appreciate a good old-fashioned mystery date, where the surprises keep unfolding. “Finding” a picnic basket in the bushes is a stunt reserved for Perceiving dates, who might also be easily exhausted if you plan everything out in too much detail. Perceiving dates also won’t be flustered by a change in plans — if you see an interesting little bistro on the way to your reservation, give it a shot!
For your date with a preference for Judging, on the other hand, knowing what to expect is paramount. While spontaneity may take a back seat, on the plus side, you can enjoy dates that take a lot of planning and rest assured, your date will follow through. Make a reservation at a place that’s booked out weeks ahead, create your own walking tour, go camping, or even meet up to plan adventures together. If you agree to pick up your Judging date at 8, they’ll be waiting at 7:55 and might feel worried or offended by 8:10.
Date Night Ideas According to Your Personality Type
As you work out how all of our date night ideas might work best for you and yours, rest assured that people are flexible, and there are no bad pairings from a Myers-Briggs perspective. Enjoy letting your date take you outside your own comfort zone—they’ll appreciate you for it and hopefully return the favor.
- ISTP: Keep in mind that social gatherings are not their thing. So, plan for something only for you two especially if you’re still getting to know each other. Dinner or going to the movies could work well for them, especially if it seems to be spontaneous.
- ISFP: One of their characteristics is being an attentive listener. Hitting a museum, or botanical garden, or watching a play could be pleasant options for them.
- INFP: Doing something that interests you both without pressure could be the best way to approach a date with an INFP. If you are just starting, choose something low-key and that doesn’t take too long such as coffee, wine or beer tasting, or a guided museum tour.
- INTP: Choose a light environment that stimulates creativity when dating an INTP. A few ideas are visiting a bookstore or library, playing board games, learning a new craft together, etc.
- ISTJ: Details matter to ISTJs. The classic combo of watching a movie and having a bite after will likely be a good option for the first dates as you get to know each other. An intimate picnic can also be an attractive choice.
- ISFJ: A romantic old-fashioned date will likely be a good choice for an ISFJ. Invite them to a quiet restaurant, for cooking dinner at home, or to go to the movies.
- INFJ: Quiet and very attentive, INFJs will probably enjoy taking time at a garden, park, library, or small coffee shop to spend quality time together and get to know you.
- INTJ: They will likely enjoy a formal and quiet date, such as a romantic restaurant, TV and dinner at home, or an intimate boat tour.
- ESTP: An adventurous activity date that gives you lots to talk and laugh about will probably make a great date. Some ideas are camping, an outdoor meal, a canoe, boat, or helicopter tour, or axe throwing.
- ESFP: They tend to enjoy exciting and light situations. Spending time at the beach (bring a frisbee), hiking, a day trip, and karaoke are a few date ideas.
- ENFP: Try something that can be perceived as surprising by your date. Maybe going to an exciting new bar (or several), cat café, paint and sip, or even a scavenger hunt.
- ENTP: Finding a fun activity you both enjoy and turning it into a date can be very engaging for ENTPs. Some ideas could be sports-related activities (rock climbing, horseback riding), tickets to a sports game, concert or play, or even playing a new video game.
- ESTJ: As they tend to take lead, be open to their suggestions. Start with a stroll in the park or the farmer’s market, and leave it open to dinner, drinks, a comedy show, or something else.
- ESFJ: A fun, but traditional, date could work well for ESTJs. A few ideas are a pub with games, game night at home (invite your friends if everyone is comfortable), bowling, a bar or restaurant crawl, or a party.
- ENFJ: Energetic and enthusiastic, they like to share a lot about themselves, so choose an environment in which you can talk freely and have fun such as a walking tour, a lively local market, or a group class like cooking or painting.
- ENTJ: Intellectually stimulating activities can be attractive for ENTJs. A trivia night or attending a concert, a play, or a musical and then hitting a bar or restaurant could be a fun idea that offers things you can talk about.
John Hackston is a chartered psychologist and Head of Thought Leadership at The Myers-Briggs Company where he leads the company’s Oxford-based research team. He is a frequent commentator on the effects of personality type on work and life, and has authored numerous studies, published papers in peer-reviewed journals, presented at conferences for organizations such as The British Association for Psychological Type, and has written on various type-related subjects in top outlets such as Harvard Business Review.
Loving this date night ideas? Check out our Wedding Planning by MBTI, Myers-Briggs Personal Growth Goals, and How To Set Up Your Workspace Based On Your MBTI for more fun ideas that let you embrace your Myers-Briggs type.
This post has been updated.
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