Friendships are hard. Sometimes you feel like you're putting in way more effort than the other person, and sometimes you feel smothered by someone who seems to always need you. If you're dealing with an unbalanced friendship, you're not alone. A survey of 70,000 people by University College London found that 22 percent of people have said the quality of their friendships has worsened post-quarantine. If your friendships feel like they're spinning out of control and you're not sure how to handle it, keep scrolling for some tips on making your relationships stronger and healthier.
When Your Friend Doesn't Seem To Care
Feel The Feels
If you're feeling upset that someone has taken a few steps back from your friendship, give yourself time to process your emotions instead of immediately jumping to a proactive solution. It's important to figure out what you're feeling and what's causing it. Try some journal prompts to help you better understand your emotions, or talk (in confidence) to someone you trust about the situation to get some clarity.
Take A Social Media Break
If you're addicted to Insta (aren't we all), there's a good chance that your friend's constant posts about their other plans is taking a toll on your mental health. Consider fasting from all social media for a few days. You'll be surprised how much time you actually spend on your apps, and how much free time you'll have to start that new art project or hang out with your family while you give your mind a break.
Explain How You Feel
Feeling neglected by a friendship can be painful, and it's important to share those feelings. After all, communication is a vital part of all relationships — your friend won't know what you're thinking unless you tell them. When you do finally start the conversation, make sure you communicate your emotions in a way that doesn't come across like an accusation.
When Your Friend Requires Too Much Of You
Be Patient
If you feel like your friend is always texting you, calling you, and taking up all of your time (it's important to note that we're talking about neediness here, not manipulation), take a step back before reacting harshly. Are they dealing with a difficult situation? Are they lonely? Be patient with them and consider whether they just need someone to talk to.
Set Boundaries
You don't have to share the boundaries that you set but it'll be helpful for your mental health to have them in place. Maybe that means not responding to a text after 10 p.m., or blocking off a night of the week for some alone time. Boundaries are far from a bad thing — they'll let you recharge so you can be a better friend.
Talk To Them
Just like a friend who hurt you won't know how you're feeling unless you tell them, a friend who requires too much of you might not realize it unless you point it out. It'll benefit both of you to clear the air — just make sure you reinforce that you love them and still value your friendship.
How do you deal with unbalanced friendships? Let us know on Twitter and subscribe to our email newsletter for more friendship and relationship stories.
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